Madness! I think I’ve gone completely bonkers but that’s okay, you only live once so you may as well live it up while you can. You never know what’s around the corner so its best to just go flat out and damn the consequences. I’ve been spending money like its going out of fashion and I’m slapping myself for being so frivolous but what the hey, its only money. Its easy for me to say, but on the same breath I’m always looking over my shoulder, waiting for some disaster to catch up on me and bring me back into the realm of reality. Which isn’t too difficult considering the economy is a fragile thing, especially so, when the US is spending money in much the same way as I am, so this level of paranoia I constantly castigate myself with, isn’t without some basis in reality even if it is probably somewhat exaggerated. A billion dollars a month to finance a false war in Iraq and indeed the so called “War on Terror” is nothing to throw away to the devil but shit, I guess a lot rides on this invasion. Oil is fast becoming a rare commodity and our lifestyle depends on consuming the stuff, so the old maxim “you gotta spend money, to make money” rings true and it would be laughable if only it wasn’t so fucking tragic.

The whole tragedy is that we hang upon our holier than thou cross, exclaiming our moral superiority when the truth is we are just as base as the enemy if not more so. How many of us just sit around worrying about our own welfare and whether or not interest rates are going to rise or if our job security will be intact tomorrow and as we chew on this worrisome fat the other side of the world is killing each other because we have mandated the powers that be to essentially take what it needs. Sure we have excuses and we have our fears that our worry may be taken away from us but does it justify acts of deception and agression and cruelty.

It wasn’t that long ago that the airwaves were declaring weapons of mass destruction and preemptive strikes to extinguish the perceived (or manufactured?) threats against our security and John Howard bowing before the great warlord Bush junior and we were all lapping in the fear with relish. And now? No real mentioning of past fiascos, just one party remaining steadfast and the other promising some sort of amends by pulling troops out of Iraq. Perhaps whats done is done and alls we can do is forget the mess and concentrate on our worrying about inconsequential finances. So I spent a few hundred dollars today on some performance RAM that I don’t essentially need but wanted; wanted to ease the burden of my worries for a few brief seconds. It amounts to nothing in the great scheme of things. Tomorrow more abuses will be served and I’ll sit here worrying if the order I placed will even get to my doorstep. I never said I was better than anyone, I merely pointed out the folly of this society or the folly of my own neurosis by going global but I’m pretty sure tomorrow in the election campaign the silence of past follies will remain muted. Not because there isn’t any merit or justification in rousing old demons from the shadows, but only because no one here is free from the guilt that surrounds the tragedy.

In our silence and our fear we condone the next air strike that kills that child or the next enemy noncombatant whose renditioned to Egypt or Jordan for interrogation (tortue) or the next person to be detained and although in some instances it may be called for, we create a system that in effect is against our own integrity and values and is becoming the very thing we fear. Tomorrow some new legislation will pass and tomorrow some more of our value will be deminished. Tomorrow, your phone will be tapped. Tomorrow your emails will be scanned. Tomorrow your mother will be suspected. Tomorrow….  Never mind our liberty what about the damn interest rates. Go figure!

Ahh well….back to researching overclocking.