Not a great deal happening in this end of town; well nothing worth recording onto the pixels of nothingness this blog represents. I’ve been experiencing a mental drain, my creative energies zapped by crass consumerisms on my part. In my endless search for the perfect distraction I am finding that nothing can fill the insatiable thirst for what I don’t have. My time has been consumed by this very notion, that it just isn’t enough. More! More! More! The fruits of my obsession, and what does it mean. I still want more. Faster Faster Faster. Just a wee bit more.

“Fill ‘er up please” “what! It’s full already?” Yes siree. It’s full. “But why mister, then am I still empty?”

I received an email at work today, about some internal opportunities to work in Afghanistan and the idea played in my mind, of taking off into the war zone, into the open fields of poppies to make a difference. To put my money where my mouth is and try and make some difference. Just a tiny little difference. But then my sanity or is that insanity returned and I am still here. What am I going to do in Afghanistan? Sure the people over there are in some sorry state of affairs and my skills could make some difference in rebuilding the mess but what am I. A saint? Ok. Ok. I’m too scared. Alright let the truth be known. I’m just a wimpy, whiny good for nothing consumerist. A wretched parasite. Sucking the earth of it’s life with my each wasted breath.

But isn’t that why I am here? To consume? Isn’t that why we are all here, to feed and gorge ourselves upon our mother’s fruits. To forage upon the forest floor, depleting and scavenging the undergrowth, growing fat with abundance, all the while believing that there is still more as we greedily look up at the canopy. “She’ll be right, just put it on the ‘ol visa here.” Gotta have more.

But when, when will it be enough?