Sex is on the minds of Australians and a new paradigm announced, out with closed feminist legs and in with a rigid formula of Nike Sex. Just do it.  Bettina Arndt has caused a stirring in the nether regions of media sensationalism with her new book The Sex Diaries. Some are outraged, others rejoicing and yet others, relieved that it’s perfectly normal for married couples to be depraved in sexual discourse or is that deprived of intercourse. Meh. Who fucking cares. Sex is just for reproduction so it makes perfectly good biological sense that the drive for sex in long term relationships starts to wane in preparation for some more meaningful sex – with another partner.

Evolution by natural selection. Darwin would be happy that adultery is now a legitimate contemplation of any sex starved spouse. Natural selection has designed us to mix up the gene pool and having multiple sexual partners can only assure a good mix. Now that Bettina has examined the sexual diaries of Australia’s most sexually frustrated we can continue dreaming about the sex we probably won’t get if we are married. Who can blame the unfaithful who merely seek the sexual gratification that marriage has taken away and who are unlikely to add any great genetic variation if an accidental conception occurs in the loveless comfort of marital numbness. We really don’t need any more ADHD  kids filling the classroom with maladaptive behaviour because Ma and Pa are too wound up in sexual tension to give the attention these hyperactive offspring crave, who invariably end up being the victims of the dry sheets in Mum and Dads bed.

Of course I’m being obnoxious and more than a little crass in my distaste of Bettina’s grab for fame. It’s old news now and although the headline on yesterday’s SMH’s website did compell me to read with curiosity, why a broadsheet newspaper was abasing itself with below the belt news, I just didn’t have the mindset to blog about it yesterday. I did start late last night after being reminded again of it on Lateline yet I was too brain-dead to continue. So I’m behind the eight ball and to make up for it I’m filling this page with useless and base opinion that is merely trying to shock with offensive drivel.

However, I do have a vague belief in what I’ve said. And it is probably why I’m single. As I see it, the only real benefit of a relationship is sex. It’s politically incorrect I know, but for me it is the truth. If there was no sex or hope for sex would you invest valuable time in cooing that babe with luxurious dinners and long conversations about nothing? Any male can deny it till there blue in the face but I know they’re lying. Sex. Sex. Sex. But it dries up as the sex diarists give testimony to and why I’m ranting about this non issue and as the discussion perhaps ends with, if no sex then what? Resentment? Anger? Frustration? Boredom? Dreams of happily ever after? It’s like an Ex girlfriend once accused me of…”Sex is just a means to an end”…of course I had to deny it at the time because I wanted more, so telling the truth was out of the question, but in my head the answer was undeniably a Yes. Yes sex is a means to an end. What else is it? Sure there is the closeness. There is the oneness. But in the end it’s about the orgasm. I have to be honest. Yes sex is a means to an end. That is what nature intended, to cum and have babies. If it didn’t feel good would you do it to just have babies?

Perhaps I’m immature and have entirely the wrong perception of sex but still the idea of having sex just to be close and share an intimate moment without an orgasm or pleasure just doesn’t seem all that appealing. I’m male – that’s the problem. Sex to me is uncomplicated, you’re horny and have a romp to feel pleasure – it serves a function but for some reason a lot of women don’t see it the same way. The early days are easy I guess, but as time moves forward in a relationship you have to work harder and harder and at some point it gets too hard that it just becomes a chore and probably why the marital bed is so dry.

Well at least I don’t have to worry about all the stresses of relationships, staying single is the key to lazy and uncomplicated living. I share the sex drought but with an easy conscience that alludes the couple.