Archive for April, 2009

29
Apr

Swine of a flu

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The death toll rises to 150 in Mexico from the apocalyptic swine flu, which is sure to come to a neighbourhood near you! So grab those pesky surgical masks and bow down before the great viral overlord. It was only a few weeks past when a discussion entitled There’s too much life on Earth  took place in the, In The News section of Whirlpool Forums. Ironically  and perhaps conveniently after Sir David Attenborough  was appointed patron of the Optimum Population Trust does the Swine Influenza epidemic hit Mexico threatening the globe with a pandemic, which may kill millions.

Is it conspiracy? We’ll just have to await the next Alex Jones’ Prison Planet instalment in the perpetual saga between the Bilderberg   Group, Banking Power Elite and the New Word Order global control conspiracy, where he will no doubt discuss the connection between Barack Obama and the deadly swine epidemic of 2009 to control the population in readiness of One World Government  and global enslavement. It’s sure to happen, since this will provide the perfect story to fuel the paranoia. Alex Jones has been banging on about the same thing for so many years that surely even he’s tired of propagating the same bull shit, but the same bull shit helps pay the mortgage eh Alex?

He now has further proof that it is the agenda of the banking elite to reduce the population to 500 million and the swine flu will offer some interesting entertainment in his next “documentary”. I like watching his doco’s out of a strange fascination to believe, to believe some grand design as to why the world can often times seem so senseless, wretched and inhumane. Just like Fox Mulder, I want to believe.

But, as always is the case in an Alex Jones conspiracy, it offers the world and delivers nothing. He will use his video as sole proof to  his claims but never has he produced a shred of material evidence, only grandiose theories about the coming enslavement. But he missed the boat, we’ve been enslaved for millennia, perhaps not in the same way as he believes but certainly, slavery of a kind. I’d like to know if he has a credit or ATM card to pay for his groceries and if he has then isn’t he just another part of the system he discredits. I believe it’s called being a hypocrite!

Category : Rants | Blog
26
Apr

The coming plague

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Australia braces for possible ‘global flu epidemic’

Piglets in Sepia

Piglets in Sepia by Keith Marshall

First it was chickens and now it’s pigs. Brace yourselves everyone, the pigs are taking their revenge by infecting us with the pig flu. Yes folks you heard it right! The pig flu. Muslims the world over are rejoicing that the infidel will surely be wiped out  by this strain of influenza which will infect evil westerners because we dared eat the filthy flesh of swine in outright disobedience to Muhammad’s commandments.

I’m of course constructing fabrication in this discourse because there have been no reports that our Muslim brothers are indeed thinking such wicked thoughts, let alone saying such dastardly things. I was being offensive once again just for the sake of controversy but it would be curious if indeed some of the more extreme believers in Muhammad’s law actually think such outbreaks are a punishment dished out by their loving higher power.

I know that there are practising Christians who often celebrate natural disasters as a sign of God’s anger or disappointment and in retribution reeking His wrath upon the sins of residents who are at the mercy of nature’s fury because God deemed homosexuals evil and  the root cause of failing society. Considering swine is a forbidden food in Koranic texts I wonder if some more fundamentalist believers or even mainstay believers secretly believe that such epidemics are God’s or Allah’s wrath? It’s perhaps taboo to be wondering about such nuances or speculating on the psychology of believers, however, since I’m a non believer I can perhaps ponder about these things without fear that I’ll be cast into eternal hell fire, because frankly, placing restrictions on intellectual freedom is not a redeeming characteristic of a deity in my opinion.

Placing religious musing aside,  the very nature of the influenza virus being transmitted from animals to humans is certainly of concern due to the unpredictability it poses. We live in ever increasing and dense populations where the possibility of a massive disease epidemic crippling society as we know it draws nearer with each passing year. We’ve been lucky so far and the little microbes which threaten our existence have been slow to recuperate since the last pandemic. But it is a matter of probability and perhaps this pig flu will be the one that initiates an ethnic cleansing of its own, where humanity is the race it wishes to eradicate.

Although reports in the link above suggest this virus will not be the dooms day virus or superbug that will wipe out millions, we can never be too sure how a virus will mutate and what is a relatively benign in the beginning may mutate into something a lot more devastating . Let’s hope that it won’t come to pass. Who knows though, maybe the religious End Timers will still have cause to rejoice that their version of biblical prophecy is upon us. We’ll just have to wait and see but just in case, it won’t hurt  to stock up reserves of Tamiflu in your medicine cabinet. Just kidding don’t  that, well not just yet anyway.  :-\

Category : Rants | Blog
25
Apr

WPRemix 2.3

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Well I’ve spent the night updating my blog to WPRemix version 2.3 after receiving the update on Thursday night. I must say I’m very impressed with the new team, R5 Ltd, that bought WPRemix from Bhavesh, who wasn’t all that great in issuing updates. I tried previously to get in touch with him/her via the contact form and to no avail and fairly given up on the idea that I’d ever receive the latest until I read on the WPRemix blog that it was under new ownership. So I tried again and was pleasantly surprised that an email sent via the contact form was replied to within a couple of hours from the new customer service team. That would have to be the fastest turn around in customer service I’ve seen by an internet web service although I haven’t got much experience in purchasing from web developers but certainly my ISP wouldn’t give such prompt service if I had a technical problem with my internet. Two thumbs up  goes from Twisted to customer service at R5. Great job! 🙂

Well I have some work to do on this site, to tweak the code to get it a little more presentable but it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I’m sick of uploading files though, after changing a setting here and there so many times I’m gonna give it a rest till tomorrow. FileZilla got a work out tonight that’s for sure.

For months I delayed upgrading when I received version 2 in my inbox, to tell you the truth I was overwhelmed by all the style sheets and what not, I had no idea where to begin but when I started poking around and changing bits and pieces it’s coming together. Slowly but surely.

Category : Rants | Blog
24
Apr

Working to live or Living to Work?

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Alain de Botton has written a new book about one of my least favourite subjects, that dreaded nine to five shuffle we’ve all come to loathe, especially on a Sunday evening when the catch phrase…Fuck I have to go to work tomorrow seeps into the consciousness like a bad TV jingle that twists and jabs like a razors edge slicing through rank butter.

Well perhaps that’s just me but I will endeavour to purchase a copy of Alain’s book sometime in the near future, just to see how I compare to his vision of working in the modern world. He was on ABC1 Lateline tonight and when I heard his familiar English voice my interest perked up. I remember his television series about philosophy and found it somewhat interesting even though it made absolutely no difference to my life. But little does and I think it’d be a big call to suggest that any television series would make a difference to anyone’s life unless of course you’re a Lost fan, then surely you’d be thinking about slashing your wrists because it goes nowhere. That’s probably why they called it Lost because the producers clearly had no fucking idea!

I digress from the work we are just so hopelessly addicted to and fully hate ourselves for. I’m certainly confessing all aren’t I…did I tell you that work sucks? Luckily I’m not on Facebook otherwise I’d be called into the directors office tomorrow and be sacked for not hailing work as the be all and end all of life.  Most of the time I feel as though I’m living to work even when I know that I could so very easily be retired and enjoying my days rather than being chained to the a schedule that cripples me from doing the things I love doing. I could trade places with Alain and be the writer while he sits at the drafting screen and draws lines and circles to his hearts content. I know which one I’d prefer but the grass is always greener on the other side of the cow’s dung.

Peace

Twist

Category : Rants | Blog
22
Apr

Penis enlargement Anyone?

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I recently configured my home email account through my ISP to send me a held report from the spam filter, so I could be sure I wasn’t missing important emails. But really, who am I kidding, it will be a cold day in Hell before I get an important email to even be missed. But it was highly amusing and well worth the laugh when I got the report tonight.

In one email the subject title reads:

“Your cock size will be written on your forehead.”

That is absolute gold. I loved it and it made me actually laugh out loud. I can just imagine the pathetic lonely heart sitting at their desk who reads this heading and agrees that there perpetual loneliness and inability to get laid is all because they believe this beautiful subject one liner. In all likely hood their penis is of average size, which I believe is a mere 5 to 6 inches when fully erect, but their insecurity is directly proportional to the belief that penile length is the culprit for the lonely bed they find themselves in. I can only make the assumption that the email actually contains some magic potion or method of getting a bigger dick and the spruik will no doubt entail a grandiose vision that with a big dick you’ll pull chicks like a modern day Casanova.

Seriously though, are we as men, truly as depraved as this spam suggests, to think that the size of our dicks bears any resemblance to how successful we are in getting laid?  I know we can suffer in the fantasy of being as well endowed as the freaks that frequent our Porn collections and that having an appendage fitting of a horse will ultimately inspire women drop to their knees worshipping the phallic God between our legs, but when the brief  moment of male domination fantasy is over, we accept what we have, knowing that it isn’t size but how well you use it. I know what you’re thinking, only losers with small dicks will ever say that but I assure you that my appendage is firm and in proportion to my size and well lets just say that my shirt size is XL. And as we all know, when it is in writing it is embedded as truth. *smiles cheekily*

So what can we do, as males, to eliminate this false ideology that size matters? Surely in this scientific age no one is gullible enough to believe the preposterous idea that a magic potion or contraption will increase the size of your dick? Seriously we can’t be so foolish to believe such nonsense. The male ego couldn’t be manipulated merely by a propagated  insecurity and taken advantage of by lowly spammers, surely this isn’t the case. Please tell me that no one is that stupid! But my fears are that our already fractured image is irreparably damaged by fools who get sucked in by an easy way to fulfil the desire to achieve Casanova status. Face the facts it is a Lie! Period! Even if you had a dick the size of an Elephant you still won’t get laid because you’ll be carrying around this disgusting lump of meat that is useless because it won’t fit.

In all seriousness, if in the unimaginable sceanrio someone out  there finds themselves clicking the links in spam, Please Don’t believe the hype. Your dick is normal but your self image needs improving. See a shrink or psych but don’t buy that ants piss in a bottle, it’ll deflate your wallet and ego further and it won’t make your dick bigger, only surgery can do that, but it will probably end up as a mangled mess afterwards. If nothing else, Mrs Palmer loves your size no matter what anyone else says.

Category : Rants | Blog
21
Apr

The Pirate Bay – Guilt by association?

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The plot thickens in the war against file sharing. A minor victory is claimed by the ever expanding AA acronym bodies protecting the intellectual profits of Corporate Media after The Pirate Bay was found guilty of assisting file sharers in obtaining copyright material illegally. This battle will continue in perpetuity while the legal fraternity collect extra pocket money determining the fate of Internet users who are only exercising their democratic right to break “The Law”. Although the funny thing is that this battle is unprecedented by The Law and the whole fiasco is akin to a scene out of Kafka’s – The Trial . The Trial essentially tells the seemingly absurd story where a trial is instigated upon Josef K for a crime he claims he did not commit, which cannot be even named and in all likely hood is mere fabrication by some hidden bureaucracy, much the same way as the administrators of The Pirate Bay are now facing – a lengthy, drawn out trial that is based upon the absurd assumption that a service provider should be held accountable for the guilt of a Society that uses its services.

The bureaucracy in the file sharing stakes is a conglomerate media empire that wishes to hold a generation to ransom by bearing its financial weight on a popular file sharing service that by its very definition, popularity, holds a mass market of criminals that The Law is yet to prosecute and who are in a de facto trial alongside The Pirate bay. Big Media is unwilling to adjust to evolutionary change and persists in maintaining its innocence, just like Josef K, even though the masses have judged them guilty and handed down a sentence by stealing their profitable intellectual property.

The Pirate Bay is just a face in the media circus, which the media empire wants to create. It is becoming increasingly clear that corporate media are in their last throws and dying a death due to their inability to adapt. Hence why they are waging the Intellectual Property war against the Internet, to combat their stake in profits that they see are being lost to teenagers who long ago came to the realisation that the product they’re selling is not as valuable as much as business would have them believe it is. The old school is over. No longer will a generation purchase CDs or DVDs at exorbitant prices or support an industry that leaves a bitter taste with its excess. The victory against The Pirate Bay will not change the business of sharing culture with one’s peers, piracy is older than the Recording and Motion Picture Industry and it has now evolved into something greater than the MPAA or RIAA can ever be. The masses want a product that industry is unable to provide, so the only alternative is piracy via file sharing. As the old saying goes, vote with your wallet and that is just what happened.

The evolution began with electronic consumables, tape decks and CD burners which allowed easy sharing with friends. A decade later with the proliferation of broadband internet and by virtue of its very nature, sharing has just converged into a grand globalised structure, where mass distribution and sharing is possible in never before seen numbers, the sharing of one’s and zeros has been as easy. Napster was born in the days of dial up and after its death, which ironically was in effect due to a similar scenario we have today, a new protocol assumed the role of obsolete technology. Bit torrent emerged to be the leading choice in the file sharing market. So in similar fashion, big media wants a repeat of the nineties et al Napster, Kazaa and persists in going after service providers, hoping they’ll influence other providers by sending a message of fear, uncertainty and doubt. But realistically is this strategy really going to increase profit margins and the bottom line for Big Media? And is it merely just selling propaganda via fear? It’s extraordinary because they seem very much focussed on targeting indexing type websites rather than the servers and PC’s that store the copyrighted material. Apart from Bit Torrent there are possibly 1000’s of terabytes of data stored in places like alt.binaries and RapidShare and the ilk. Others on the Web have pointed out that Google is more or less an indexing service where one can find any manner of illegal material to download, but perhaps having a centralised sever like The Pirate Bay is what peeves them off because of the ease by which one can searh and click to retrieve a file. But it certainly doesn’t do Google or Yahoo any good.

The problem is that corporate media failed to make a move back in the nineties when they had a chance and instead tried to fuck the consumer over just one more time, for old times sake perhaps, by giving them grief when purchasing the product they wanted. They wanted music and movies that was convenient to search and download, not filled with DRM, a product they could swap onto whatever device they chose, when they chose and how ever many times they chose, at a price that was reasonable. Did the Media Empire gives us the product we wanted. NO! Only now do they try and compete with services that have been gaining loyal users for over a decade. Now they want to slap the faces of consumers  further by taking a torrent tracking site down just for indexing the files people want to share with friends. And how can strangers be friends? Well isn’t that we are now? One great big happy globalised family of friends?

So now that the game is lost and ultimately piracy is here to stay, what can Big Media do? Well stop all the silly litigation, you’re certainly not going to win fans by insulting them. What is it they say, If you can’t beat em join em. Why not use advertising to boost your *cough* cash strapped industry. What if Sony BMG, EMI, Warner Bros etc etc released their catalogue at dirt cheap prices and no DRM at bit rates that are decent.  Invite advertisers to place ads on your websites. Maybe have a users view a ten second ad before downloading? Have added bonus content, offer stuff for free. Set up community forums where artists sometimes interact with fans? Most of all accept that some people won’t buy your wares, what ever you do. Listen to the fans. They’re the ones that line your pockets.

Category : Rants | Blog
15
Apr

Smoking

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I’ve been thinking about quitting the durries and let me tell you, even thinking about the concept sends an anxious knot into the pit of my stomach. It is something I conveniently place at the back of my mind when ever I think about  giving them the flick. This addiction is a mighty powerful one and one that seems to need constant reminding that it is exactly that…an addiction. The only regret in life I have, is ever picking the damn things up in the first place. Trying to conquer the fear of putting them down is the hardest part. I am able to quite easily avoid the fear by postponing the quit day indefinitely, just by not thinking about quitting, but surely it is time that I lay this demon to rest….before it is too late. I have one packet left sitting there waiting for me to smoke…do I make the plan to quit once that packet is finished or do I wait till the doctor tells me I have throat cancer. The answer is simple I quit.

However, do I mean it when I say it? Will I have the strength to carry out the plan. Have I even made a plan? What exactly do I fear about quitting, the pain of withdrawal? I don’t know. It’s the fear of fear. The fear of feeling anxious. The fear of feeling deprived, stressed, angry and lonely. My companion will be gone. But surely these fears are irrational and how can I even feel fear now when I’m still smoking. It’s outrageous that such a pesky stimulant can provoke such negative emotions. Will withdrawal even be all that painful, after all, half my life I spend in a state of anxiety as it is. It’s just thinking about how hard and difficult things will be that gives fear its life. What if I think about how good I’ll feel once I don’t have stinking cigarette smoke choking my arteries with lead, tar, carbon monoxide and a thousand other vile chemicals.

I get nothing out of smoking except a sore throat and a case of worry that those little nodes at the back of my throat are something I don’t really want to deal with. And yet  I still smoke. Happily I want the nicotine to sooth my worry away but it always wants more and never fulfils its part of the bargain, to give me the flight of light headedness it once did. Apart from the slight reprieve it offers before reminding me that is needs another feed I get nothing but headaches, legs that feel like lead, guilt and fear. Like a wretched little infant crying incessantly to be placed back into the warmth of its mother’s womb, to be cradled and fed and not face the cold and harsh reality of birth, this addiction beast just doesn’t want to leave the nest I provide. I have to kick it out!

So procrastination and waiting for it to leave isn’t going to work, that much is for sure. Motivation is unlikely to come until it’s too late so what is left? The Plan. The Big Plan. To walk through the door that says Non-Smoker and what can be easier than walking through a door? I’ve cracked open that packet now. Will I lay this beast to rest once it is finished. That leaves tomorrow and fuck I’m scared to walk through that door. But what’s more scarier the door or the morgue?

Category : Journal | Blog
8
Apr

People of the book

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It seems all and sundry are claiming invasion of privacy and that employers are “spying” on them. Again Web 2.0 is at fault for the stupidity of individuals who have rather dubious assertions that they lost their jobs because of comments posted on either their or friends Facebook walls, after an employer became aware of the dissent these rebellious social net workers were espousing amongst friends. They claim that work colleagues “dobbed” them in and with consequences far exceeding their wildest expectations. Well it does seem on the surface, a rather fantastical or delusional assertion, “OMG I got sacked coz I said Company X or Mister K was a joke” Well perhaps if their assertions of spying were true, it does seem a rather drastic position to be taking by terminating employment based on a Twitter or Facebook one liner.

After all, these “victims” of spying describe themselves as model employees whose comments were taken out of context but is this really the truth or just flagrant self promotion without justification. Besides what do you really expect when you are dissing the hand that feeds? Possibly it may seem like harmless sarcasm but promoting dissent and low morale amongst co-workers may send a different message to the Corporation that employs you. I know I’ve expressed some unsavoury aspects of working the 9 to 5 shuffle on this blog but I’m not stupid enough to invite fellow workers to read my blog, if they for some reason stumble upon it and read my thoughts I can hardly accuse my boss for any ill fortune that comes my way for publishing inane commentary of societal and personal phenomena. Rarely do I resort to ad hominem to express my distaste and I certainly wouldn’t publicly name and diss the person(s) that put a pay cheque into my account each fortnight, that would just be silly and somewhat hypocritical.

It seems that the people of the book could be a little more aware when posting willy-nilly on a not so private domain. After all, big brother never sleeps and has eyes and ears everywhere. Even in  the spheres of social networking sites, perhaps it is where his eyes dilate and ears prick to the twitterings of  the naive the most.

Category : Rants | Blog
7
Apr

Broadband MkII

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Finally Australia gets some good news. The media is the bearer of light this day, whilst so much doom is still prevalent in global financial markets any news that is positive is bound to bring light to even the darkest of souls. One small step in the future of Australian Communications has been announced, we will one day have fibre running into our homes to service the internet addictions of millions of citizens across  our fair land, so that we can keep the crown of the world’s biggest down-loaders of copyright material per capita. Sweden has been crippled with tough anti P2P laws or so the legislators would have us believe but the legacy of  The Pirate Bay shall long live through the optical ventricles and arteries of Australian leechers.

The great Australian battler shall persevere, even when arteries are clogged from the fat of  front bench political censor. We want our nodes clean from the heavy lard of dictatorial censorship, to be sure, but even if such grandiose government schemes become a part of Australian legislative policy, we the people shall find a way to circumvent the draconian law dictated to us from the executive chairs of Big Media. And with a 100mbit internet connection anything will be possible and anonymous proxies will surely have a large clientele from the land down under.

We now just have to endure the wait and this is where our enthusiasm begins to wane. It just can’t come soon enough. The average Australian has become weary from promises that fail to deliver and the laying out of tens of thousands of kilometres of fibre ostensibly gives rise to the feeling that we may indeed be waiting for a long time yet. The wait will undoubtedly test the cynicism of even the most austere optimist, right up until the first FTTP bill arrives in our inbox.

Category : Rants | Blog