Mid-Life Crisis!

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I don’t know what is wrong with me but lately, maybe months or over the last year I have slowly declined into an insurmountable sloth that has prevented me from doing the one thing that really made the slow grind of daily life even remotely bearable. That one thing is writing. The exercise of crafting fragments of words into some sort of stream that hopefully resembles a cohesive segment of thought and if I was lucky something that might strike a chord with anyone who might stumble upon it. But it just hasn’t been so. The problem is a lack of energy – a slump in motivation and too much time obsessing over things I have little to no control over.

The ironic thing is that I’ve often lambasted the object of my obsession and now I am fully within it’s grip. I don’t know why all of a sudden I have fallen prey to the idea that I just don’t have enough money. For all my ranting’s about the corruption that consumerism has bestowed upon the world I am now  gripped with an urgency to accumulate as much of the stuff that fuels consumption as I can and I often curse the crushingly slow path that leads to stacking the bundles of cash it takes to hoard. It’s gotta have something to do with age – a mid life crisis of sorts, although such crises are often symbolic of spending large sums on outrageous toys and going on some last adventure I find myself wanting to not really to spend but save. Although I do confess doing my fair share of superfluous and wanton wasteful spending does really mess up the plan to save. I just want to create a stack of wealth that might afford me a standard of living in the future. I know it’s crazy but I can’t help myself obsessing over this need. Yet implementing a serious strategy of frugality to achieve said goal is easier said than done.

I rack my brain with what I can do to get more money to hoard and all attempts to invent some method of getting a decent cash flow happening have amounted to naught. Then the dejected sense of doom arises from the pit of my stomach – it’s too late. I missed the boat and I am stuck in circling in the perpetual ebb and flow of paid slavery with the hopeless sense that there is no way out of the grind.

Perhaps I am best in changing my perspective rather than trying to beat myself out of the system. Lets face it – how many people actually escape the ripping jaws of working for money to create a life that is actually meaningful? Hardly any. The primary problem is that the conditioning of working for money has been firmly planted. The correct response or choice of wording is money working for you but that is not exactly what the system really wants of us. It wants and needs for us to work for money and that is what we pay with our lives for. Working for money while money gets handed over to the ones that knew that money worked for them.

Like the words from that song – “Money for nothin and your cheques for free!” – Dire Straits

Therein lies the secret to financial success. Get money working for you but bugger me if it doesn’t take a hell of a long time to get money in a position anywhere close to showing potential and fit for work. I guess it’s why leverage is the way of the world today. Money is debt and debt is money. Ingsoc’s 2004 amendment to 1984’s Freedom Is Slavery slogan. Cash is no longer King – debt is and you better be certain with your strategy lest your debtor performs a margin call.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength! All hail Ingsoc! Where big banks are too big to fail and too big to save. Privatise profits and socialise debt – that is if you live on Wall St – Main street can go and get stuffed – just hand over what’s owing to the Taxman before you head out that door. No wonder why I feel so dejected and disillusioned. Big Brother made sure of it!

Category : Rants | Blog

Swine of a flu

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The death toll rises to 150 in Mexico from the apocalyptic swine flu, which is sure to come to a neighbourhood near you! So grab those pesky surgical masks and bow down before the great viral overlord. It was only a few weeks past when a discussion entitled There’s too much life on Earth  took place in the, In The News section of Whirlpool Forums. Ironically  and perhaps conveniently after Sir David Attenborough  was appointed patron of the Optimum Population Trust does the Swine Influenza epidemic hit Mexico threatening the globe with a pandemic, which may kill millions.

Is it conspiracy? We’ll just have to await the next Alex Jones’ Prison Planet instalment in the perpetual saga between the Bilderberg   Group, Banking Power Elite and the New Word Order global control conspiracy, where he will no doubt discuss the connection between Barack Obama and the deadly swine epidemic of 2009 to control the population in readiness of One World Government  and global enslavement. It’s sure to happen, since this will provide the perfect story to fuel the paranoia. Alex Jones has been banging on about the same thing for so many years that surely even he’s tired of propagating the same bull shit, but the same bull shit helps pay the mortgage eh Alex?

He now has further proof that it is the agenda of the banking elite to reduce the population to 500 million and the swine flu will offer some interesting entertainment in his next “documentary”. I like watching his doco’s out of a strange fascination to believe, to believe some grand design as to why the world can often times seem so senseless, wretched and inhumane. Just like Fox Mulder, I want to believe.

But, as always is the case in an Alex Jones conspiracy, it offers the world and delivers nothing. He will use his video as sole proof to  his claims but never has he produced a shred of material evidence, only grandiose theories about the coming enslavement. But he missed the boat, we’ve been enslaved for millennia, perhaps not in the same way as he believes but certainly, slavery of a kind. I’d like to know if he has a credit or ATM card to pay for his groceries and if he has then isn’t he just another part of the system he discredits. I believe it’s called being a hypocrite!

Category : Rants | Blog


Posted by Comments Off on Friday

One more day to get through and then the sweet salvation of the blessed weekend. It never ceases to amaze me or rather confound me that living in the twenty first century has a lot to be desired. We hear the virtues of freedom being espoused by foreign world leaders and home grown leaders alike, yet this freedom that we feel so compelled to protect and defend can certainly feel like slavery. I understand the meritorious notions and equality that each of us in this society is purportedly given, but still at the end of the day it all too often seems as if the gods that condemned Sisyphus to rock and roll as it were, have also mistakenly condemned the rest of humanity to roll that boulder up and down for no apparent meaningful reason. What else can this waking at an ungodly hour, scuffling with thousands of other drones in overcrowded infrastructure doing the same tasks again and again be? If not a sick joke then what?

Certainly given the position I find myself in I ought to be grateful for having this slavish freedom, however increasingly I find myself feeling resentful and disillusioned. The problem seems to lie in the falsity of it all. The happiness that seems to be on sale just doesn’t seem to stem from accomplishing the feat of getting the boulder to the top of the hill, because tomorrow there will be another hill and the day after, another.

Finding some meaningful existence in all this rolling becomes quite a challenge. Sure there are these catch phrases and marketing hype like work-life balance but who out there ever achieves this elusive balance? Is it merely a carrot that is perpetually out of reach or do some lucky individuals find this nirvana? I for one feel somewhat duped by this “happiness” that we should feel grateful in pursuing, when it is just Sisyphus’s legacy that has been repackaged and sexed up.

Well one thing I can be grateful for and in a minor way it countenances the work-life manifesto with a level of genuineness and that is the two days away from the overcrowded rail network and the pile of drawings that never seem to disappear from the cross hairs of the AutoCAD cursor.

Hail the Sabbath for man can not live on boulders alone. Blessed be the man who hath made two days worth living for.

Category : Rants | Blog